Roar of the crowd has that anxious ring
Q: Why is it, especially in staff meetings, when the boss or someone says something that may be a little funny, or not funny, employees literally roar with laughter? This is confusing especially when the remark isn’t humorous to me.
A: Laughter in groups can be a byproduct of anxiety. The reality that a job and paycheck are linked in most people’s minds to survival can make staff meetings fraught with fear. Laughter can be a welcome reassurance that no one will be fired - today!
The reaction you’re describing is most likely to occur when the group is discussing a topic surrounded by conflict. Since most of us have little or no training in the art of fighting fair, we imagine a fight can only end badly.
Thus most organizations have two speeds when it comes to conflict: high and off. Conflict is avoided until an all-out war erupts. Then people lick their wounds and head off to separate corners. The more an organization or industry is facing challenges, the faster this avoidance/war cycle becomes.
When you see a group erupt into hysterical laughter over a not-so-funny comment, be aware hysteria is connected to fear. Be aware also that research indicates the reasoning ability of a frightened group sinks to the level of the least functional person in the group.
Many studies have been done on a phenomenon called “group think,” which is how stupid choices get made by groups of smart people. When a group you’re in keeps roaring with unexplainable laughter, the following can keep decision making from deteriorating.
• Ask yourself, what might the group be afraid of?
• Without taking a position, try asking questions about this issue.
• If conversation gets polarized, try repeating back what you hear both sides saying.
• Remind your team about shared goals to keep people focused on solutions, not blame.
If you can speak and behave in ways that have a calming effect on your team, smart people will make smart choices when you are around. People will tend to want to keep you around, which will help your anxiety and thinking.
Also take comfort in the reality that this workplace issue mirrors a key issue in the world today. The trouble isn’t that our species isn’t smart enough to invent solutions; the trouble is it usually takes a village to fix a problem. And when we can’t get along, all our brilliance goes to waste.
The last word(s)
Q: A guy on my team has been doing inner-child work and has been yelling in staff meetings. He says he’s expressing his feelings. Is that what happens when people go into therapy?
A: No, but it is what happens when your inner child doesn’t talk with your inner grown-up before you open your mouth.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., is an executive coach, trainer, therapist, speaker and author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). She can be reached at interpersonaledge@comcast.net or www.interpersonaledge.com. Sorry, no personal replies. For more columns, go to www.seattletimes.com/daneenskube